A THIRD three-goal loss in a row has rival fans guffawing, but can Liverpool overtake Man United as the Premier League’s banter club?
Roy Hobbs, sharpshooter: “As in everything – colour of strip, number of titles won, obnoxiousness of fans, shiteness of home city, legendary players who are utter twats – they’re neck-and-neck.”
Nikki Hollis, falconer: “Sure, Liverpool are funny now. But can they do it year after year, bobbing between bottom and top, winning FA Cups just to make getting knocked out by Grimsby Town on penalties all the more hilarious? Because United can.”
Susan Traherne, charity spokesman: “Great, one more f**king title Tottenham should win easily but can’t.”
Jim Bates, trawlerman: “Sad for United, but there are kids driving cars who can’t remember their last title. Meanwhile Liverpool won it just last year. You can only coast on old glories for so long.”
Thomas Booker, assayer: “Actually Sheffield Wednesday were named banter club nine times in the inter-war years. You idiots think football began in 1992.”
