We ask you: will United beat City in today’s FA Cup final, or does the world make sense?

MANCHESTER United play rivals Manchester City in today’s FA Cup final, but would a shock win cause the magnetic poles to reverse and the dead to walk the earth? 

Denys Finch Hatton, physicist: “The unlikelihood of a United win is up there with the discovery of the Higgs boson. I believe it would destroy reality and reverse time. But I said the same about Wimbledon beating Liverpool in 1988, and I was wrong then.”

Lucy Parry, electrical engineer: “It’s surpassingly unlikely, probably about 25 million to one. Or f**k all, compared to the chance of Ten Hag keeping his job.”

Susan Traherne, futurologist: “Imagine going back to 1999, when City were in the third tier and United winning the treble, trying to convince fans this was coming. Hilarious. I might do that instead of killing Hitler.”

Bill McKay, cab driver: “I still reckon Chelsea might win it. People are writing them off because they got knocked out in the third round but they could surprise you.”

Oli O’Connor, spade designer: “Doesn’t really matter to me. Or to the footballers playing in the match itself.”

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