YOU’LL never get on TV by actually winning the Marathon, so try getting the BBC’s attention with one of these wacky costumes instead:
Cartoon character
Dressing up in a heavy costume as Mickey Mouse, Peppa Pig or the poo emoji and running 26 miles will be a hot and horrible experience but you’re pretty much guaranteed a spot on the TV coverage for at least 1.7 seconds. Is it worth it? Depends how much the costume shop charges you for extra cleaning after you return it reeking of sweat.
London landmark
Play up to the thousands of people lining the route by dressing as Big Ben, a London bus or a red phone box. Tourists will love it and give you a big cheer as you pass, but serious runners already in a temper due to their chafed nipples will swear viciously as they attempt to avoid you lumbering clumsily all over the road.
Edgy charity costume
Running the marathon for charity is an admirable thing, but every f**ker’s doing that, so make yourself stand out with a costume that represents the good cause you support. This works especially well if you turn up dressed as a pair of bollocks or a boob in aid of cancer, as the bored camera person will single you out and give you plenty of airtime.
TV or film character
Fancy running for five hours dressed as Bagpuss, the Joker or a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Now is your opportunity. Just make sure you’ve chosen an outfit that’s easy to get off, as having to complete the race after you’ve attempted a Paula Radcliffe-style toilet stop in a Mr Blobby costume won’t be much fun.
Running partner duo
It’ll be such a laugh doing this with a mate, you think, clambering into the four-legged camel costume and setting off. However, differing running speeds, limited visibility and someone stepping on your heels every three seconds will soon make you want to rip the costume off and punch them in the face. Which will definitely get you on TV.
