Sunday, 27th September 2020

Atomic Kitten and dial-up: Why you shouldn't be nostalgic for the 1990s

1990s nostalgia is increasingly popular, but maybe it’s best if we forgot altogether about the decade that gave us Steps and Jelly Shoes. Here are some very good reasons.

Portable disc players

It seemed cool at the time to have a Walkman hanging from your cargo pants, but really there’s nothing good about an Atomic Kitten album that skips a track every time you go over a pebble. Plus the only CDs in circulation in 2020 are free Daily Mail collections of wartime classics, so it’s unlikely demand will be high. 

White people with cornrows

Some say cultural appropriation, Christina Aguilera said cultural appreciation. Either way, let’s agree never to mention it again. 

Dial-up

It’s crazy to think there was a time when connecting to the internet sometimes took an entire evening, and your mum had to be off the phone for you to have a wank. Now you can bash one out in 30 seconds to an instantaneous Snapchat chain. With modern marvels like this, who wants to go back to slowly loading images of the cast of Baywatch?

Animal Hospital

There was nothing kids in the 90s looked forward to more than sitting down on Thursday evening and watching Rolf Harris whip out his didgeridoo in front of a poorly tortoise. But unluckily for Rolf and the gang this quaint documentary hasn’t quite stood the test of time for some reason. 

Iraq

Thank goodness all that terrible Middle East stuff is over now. Oh, hang on…