Trains to have full pony access by 2015

THE shake-up of Britain’s rail system is to include a multi-million project to make all trains, stations and platforms pony compliant within four years.

The changes have been approved after a Highland pony failed to board a carriage at Wrexham earlier this week after becoming spooked by the gap between the train and the platform.

Improvements will include the introduction of wider access barriers and pony ramps as well as employing 1,000  ‘pony whisperers’ to announce updates over the tannoy system.

Joseph Turner, a pony breeder from High Wycombe, said: “The improved overhead storage space in particular is great news for Buckaroo ponies who commute.

“They can’t be expected to stand there for up to 90 minutes with some rope, a crate, a frying pan, a cowboy hat, a shovel, a stick of dynamite and a banjo on their backs.

“They’ll just kick their back legs out and the stuff will go everywhere.”

But angry commuter, Carolyn Ryan, said: “First my annual season ticket goes up £50 and now I have to share a lavatory with a pony that probably has a urinary tract infection.

“They better put some straw down in there. It’s bad enough as it is.”

A spokesman for Network Rail said: “The train is an extremely comfortable and convenient way for ponies to travel and can be very cost effective if they book their ticket online, three months in advance.

“At least they can do if they have fingers or a giant laptop with massive keys.”