Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Cat blanks owner in the street

A WOMAN is heartbroken after the cat she has fed and housed for over five years completely ignored her in the street. 

Accountant Lauren Hewitt was reduced to tears by the cruel snub from tabby Mr Fluffles, who she has always provided with a clean litter tray, a wide range of cat toys and the nice food in pouches.

Between sobs, Hewitt said: “I was coming back from the shop when I saw my adorable little fur baby walking by. I called out to him, but he didn’t even look at me. How could he be so mean?”

Mr Fluffles said: “Look, if someone was yelling ‘Mr Fluffles’ at you in the street, would you stop for them? I know that’s what she calls me, but my actual name is Ian.

“Don’t get me wrong, she’s a sweet lady. But I can’t allow myself to be seen associating with that nobody. I’m one of the foremost tom-cats around here. I’ve a reputation to maintain.

“I’m out making sweet, noisy cat love each night to some of the finest cat ladies Northampton has to offer. But I could wave goodbye to that if I’m spotted cosying up to someone calling me Mr. Fluffles.”

Hewitt later said: “His behaviour is really out of control lately. I’m looking into having him neutered.”