Cat to lose its shit for 30 seconds then act like nothing happened


A CAT has unveiled plans to totally lose its shit for about 30 seconds before calming down immediately.

Cat Nikki Hollis said she planned to just sit there, as normal as anything, before running at high speed at nothing in particular and then trying to climb up the door and attempt to bite an invisible enemy behind it.

Hollis said: “Contrary to what a lot of people think, being a cat can be incredibly tedious. So every now and again I like to go totally ape shit for no reason.

“If I could use a smartphone I probably wouldn’t do it as often, but science hasn’t quite caught up yet.

“It also applies to my tail  Even though I often clean it, I can also convince myself that it’s a snake. I only snap out of it when I bite my tail and it hurts.

“Imagine being so bored that you go into a sort of masochistic trance. I really need a phone.”