Cat described as a ‘fur baby’ starts looking for new owners

A CAT that is used as a substitute child would like to live with some humans who are not mental, he has confirmed.

Cat Tom Logan is disturbed that his owners describe him as ‘our baby ’ despite the fact that he is a different species and would kill them and eat them if he was a bit larger.

Logan said: “When I heard them call me a ‘fur baby’ I was like ‘Christ on a fucking bike, I need to get the hell out of this place’.

“I’d like to live with some normal people, who leave a bowl of Go Cat by the door and then ignore me unless I do something annoying like piss on their face while they’re asleep.”

He added: “They probably wouldn’t call me their ‘precious ickle boy’ anymore if they knew how much I fantasise about crunching up their skulls.”