A WOMAN who carries her puppy everywhere, along with poo bags, a special fluffy bed and dehydrated raw chicken snacks, is unsure why her first dates go no further.
Lauren Hewitt said: “I bring Poopsie everywhere. I call him Poopsie because he likes to poop on the duvet. He’s a naughty little boy but I love him unconditionally.
“I’ve noticed he seems to put people off on dates, which is odd. I have lots of varied topics of conversation, such as canine dental hygiene and how raw diets are what he needs for optimal nutrition.
“It’s not like I plaster my social media with photos. Poopsie’s got his own Instagram account with 500 followers already. It takes a bit of time maintaining all his connections, but he’s got doggie friends all over the world. He’s doing a Facebook Live event tomorrow.
“I don’t get why men laugh nervously when he does his mock-biting. It’s only because, as rivals for my affection, he instinctively wants to rip them to shreds. Honestly, a tiny bit of blood and suddenly they’ve all got plans later in the evening.
“Obviously I’m unemployed since the office said I couldn’t take him in permanently, but how could I leave him in the flat all day? Also I like talking to dog owners in the park. It’s such a lovely community.
“For some reason lots of them seem to be single.”