Ask Holly: I’m trying to squeeze out another boy wizard book so that I can buy Belgium

Dear Holly,

I’m trying to squeeze out another of my popular range of boy wizard books so that I can buy Belgium. I think I might write about how the main character Harry becomes middle-aged. He’ll stop bothering about all that magic nonsense and start a half-hearted interest in home brewing or gardening and he’ll spend most weekends ignoring his children at soft play or buying sealant from Homebase. Like a prisoner of Azkaban who has had his soul sucked out by a dementor, he’ll be forced by his family to watch Strictly and Bake Off and discuss childcare arrangements and home improvement loans, and as a result spend more and more time in the garage. The end. Any good?



Dear JK,

If it wasn’t for Harry Potter, school kids like me would just be reading those Willard Price books where titles are the name of a dangerous animal followed by the word ‘Adventure’. Thank goodness Harry Potter got the nation reading again. Although we don’t actually do any reading in school any more because a government initiative made the entire school open plan and no-one can hear themselves think.

Hope that helps,