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Shops under threat as animals start selling things

HIGH street shops face a new threat as animals have begun selling an array of consumer goods.

Members of the public have been approached by wildlife offering excellent deals on everything from electrical equipment to cookery books.

31-year-old Mary Fisher said: “I just bought a Region 2 DVD of the film Drive off a pigeon.

“Via a system of coos and deliberate wing movements we were able to negotiate a price of 22% below the Amazon price.

“It’s not a bootleg and I would definitely buy from pigeons again.”

Retail expert Norman Steele said: “Animals have lower overheads than either traditional retail or online businesses, as they store their goods rent-free in trees and burrows.

“However some distributors are reluctant to offer credit terms to wild creatures, especially toads which tend to get run over.”

However father-of-two Tom Logan said: “I bought a toaster off a fox and it doesn’t fucking work.

“What am I supposed to do now, take it back to the nearest hedge?”