Top five scarves to make you look like a twat

ALL scarves look stupid, but if you want really want to look like a huge twat you must choose carefully.

Here are this autumn’s best scarves for looking like the biggest bellend.

1. Blanket scarf

Is it a scarf or a blanket? Or maybe a rug? No, it’s definitely a scarf, even though you could throw it on the floor and it would tie the room together. It’s so big a family of foxes could come and live in your neck-folds.

Twat rating: 6/10

2. Snood

An item that screams out, “I can’t handle tassels”, this neck warmer is perfect for anyone who wants to look like they’re about to hop on a moped and zoom off to Twatsville.

Twat rating: 7/10

3. Cotton scarf

For people who want to wear a scarf, but want none of the warmth that comes from wearing scarves. Fans of this look may also want to check out a linen ski jacket and canvas snow boots.

Twat rating: 8/10

4. Football scarf

Wearing a football scarf as an adult, are we? Did you wake up in football team-branded pyjamas? Are you wearing a replica kit underneath that suit, including the shinpads? You are clearly an 8-year old child who has not yet worked out how to dress like a grown-up.

Twat rating: 8.5/10

Twat rating if the football team in question is Chelsea: 9.5/10

5. Harry Potter official house scarf

Everything that is wrong with the football scarf, plus wizards and goblins.

Twat rating: 9/10