A STUDENT who failed to win a family game of Trivial Pursuit at Christmas has proved university is a pointless activity for ponces, his relatives feel.
Supposedly clever Oxford undergraduate Tom Booker was playing the board game with his extended family, all of whom work in honest manual jobs and had their prejudices against any form of learning confirmed.
Aunt Yvonne Jones said: “Tom didn’t know which scale is used to measure the hardness of minerals, the dense bastard. None of us did, obviously, but you’d expect an English Literature student who got straight As in his GCSEs to know that.
“Frankly, the number of questions he got wrong was embarrassing. Tom’s poncey la-di-dah ivory tower book learning proved to be particularly useless in the sport category. He couldn’t even say which club plays at Loftus Road, which is primary school stuff.
“I’m afraid it confirms my opinion – which is the same as facts – that university is just posh twats getting pissed at the taxpayer’s expense. They’re not so bloody clever when you ask them to name the world’s smallest mammal.
“Tom should learn a trade like plumbing, but he probably thinks he’s too good for that and sneers at us horrible working-class oiks. Although he’s never expressed an opinion on the subject.”
Tom said: “I’ve decided to drop out of my degree and look for factory jobs. Maybe I can return to higher education later in life when I know more about the win record of Lewis Hamilton.”
