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News Briefly

Night of passion aborted as man pepper-sprays wife's vagina

McDonalds launches Paul McMullan happy meal

Peter Hain's laptop 'contained thousands of pictures of Peter Hain'

Australia must be awful

British Gas promises not to nail live cat to your door

Some of our best friends own black people, say banks

Being Amish 'is like giant stag weekend'

Rihanna 'has high hopes' for shoe-based profanity project

I will be prime minister by age of 40, insists Heseltine

Some of my best friends are fat millionaires, says Blatter