MOST Britons practise a form of ‘chemsex’ involving alcohol without which intercourse would never take place, research has confirmed.
Despite a tiny minority of the public having exciting sex on cocaine or MDMA, alcohol was the drug of choice for people on dates and long-term partners turning off the TV.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Alcohol is to sex in the UK what petrol is to a car. You’ll never make it to Asda without at least a couple of litres.
“Obviously you need a hit of something on a date. How could anyone be expected to listen to someone’s mundane thoughts for three courses while sober and then still want to do it with them?
“Likewise in a marriage, without practising ‘alcosex’ how could you ever block out years of resentment about them leaving cups all over the house and wet towels on the bed?
“Our study found that a few young people were having sex sober, but only because they were doing it while watching Netflix and posting things on Instagram.”
He added: “Personally I need a couple of whiskies before even having a wank. It helps with the self-loathing when tapping ‘milfs with big naturals’ into Google.”