‘They’ll forget about you, too’ prosecco warns gin

PROSECCO has told gin to enjoy its moment as Britain’s booze du jour while it can, because it will not last. 

The sparkling Italian wine has bitterly advised the juniper-based spirit that it was not so long ago that it was the name on everybody’s lips and barbecue aprons, but nothing lasts forever.

It continued: “The public are fickle. One day there couldn’t be a hen party without you, the next you’re yesterday’s news.

“Sure, at the moment it’s all comparison pieces in the Sunday papers and being fine to drink with breakfast. But soon enough their disloyal palates move on to some flashy new booze.

“It’s a great trick you’ve got with all the different flavours. Love it. Enjoy it while it lasts, because one day it’ll be you watching shocked from behind the bar as they get sh*tfaced on whatever the next thing is.

“Gin o’clock. God, when they say that. It used to be my time.”

Experts agree that gin has another 18 months maximum as the nation’s favourite tipple, before Britain moves on to either artisanal rums, añejo tequilas or Argentinian fernet, but probably not stout.