32-year-old hopes he loses interest in music soon

A 32-YEAR-OLD man hopes he reaches the fabled cut-off point where you stop listening to new music soon, because he has had enough of it. 

Nathan Muir knows that after a certain age men simply stop bothering with any new music, preferring to repeatedly listen to the tunes of their youth, and he has told friends he is ready for it as soon as possible.

He said: “It can’t quite have arrived yet, because when I hear about a hot new band I still feel duty-bound to check them out. Even though they’re always shit.

“And when I go on about how much better Queens of the Stone Age are than anything around today, there’s still a nagging sense of perspective. I don’t have the rock-solid certainty you see in comments on YouTube.

“It’d be nice to never have to bother again, because I keep doing things like listening to the new Arctic Monkeys, so it’s doing me harm.

“It definitely needs to be over before I have kids. A father can’t be open-minded about music. What would they despise?”

Muir also asked at what age he would begin to believe a suit jacket and jeans was a stylish sartorial choice ideal for flirting with younger women, because he is basically ready now.