THE makers of the new James Bond film have been so busy with product placement they have forgotten to make the movie.
They now have less than a month in which to make a film with breathtaking action sequences, exotic locations and a large number of expensive consumer products.
Producer Tom Logan said: “I’ve been rushed off my feet doing deals with vodka companies, so I’m going to pull an all-nighter and write the entire script tonight. I’ve already had an idea for a scene where Bond drives a car really fast with people chasing him.
“We’ve left it a bit late to get a big name director like Sam Mendes, but the guy who did Birdemic might be free. If the worst comes to the worst I’ll have to film it on my phone.
“All the insanely obvious product placement might even work in our favour, because we can pad it out with scenes of Bond checking his watch and trying on jumpers.”
However, Logan said the film’s 26th October release date did not leave time to create any of 007’s trademark ingenious gadgets, which would now consist of a compass, ladder and spear.