Saturday, 7th December 2019

DJ livid at suggestion he might play song you know

A DJ is furious at the suggestion that he might play a song people know. 

Nathan Muir was busy mixing cuts and breaks for the 30th birthday of a friend when a clueless moron came up to him and asked him to play No Diggity just because everyone there wanted to hear it.

Muir said: “Who the f**k do these f**king people think they are?

“I was just fading Sex Machine into an abstract funk workout from 1973, really raw drums, when this halfwit sidles up and says hey, why not ruin the entire inclusive vibe you’ve created by playing something jarringly out of place.

“Did Picasso have d*ckheads asking him to put a smiley face in Guernica? Did James Joyce have drunken twats staggering up demanding he put a bit in Ulysses that everyone could dance to?

“Later on I was asked why I hadn’t put anything on from the playlist they’d provided. I replied that I thought that was more of a mood board to inspire me and if they just wanted those songs they should have hired a f**king jukebox.

“Ironically I was going to play No Diggity later on but now I can't. So I’ve put on Oakland Stroke by the Towers of Power instead. Everyone knows that one.”