England fan jailed for writing shit football song

AN ENGLAND fan has been jailed for writing a song called Ball of Victory.

34-year-old Tom Logan was arrested in the early hours of Sunday morning after posting a YouTube video of himself singing the self-penned song that rhymes ‘ball’ with ‘not taking a fall’.

A police spokesman said: “All football songs are pretty shit. This one is shit to the extent that it is offensive to all persons of taste and indeed to the very concept of music.

“To be clear, the chorus goes, ‘Football, football at its best, England puts you to the test, we will beat all the rest’. And that’s actually the best bit.

“I hope that’s enough to satisfy anyone who was going to bleat about freedom of speech.”

Although Logan is currently in prison for an unspecified time, his brother Martin Logan said: “It’s no shitter than Three Lions.

“Although I must admit I didn’t understand the bit where he sings ‘Football’s really coming home, time to give the dog a bone’. Is that a sex reference?”