EVERYONE on television and radio is just some fucker trying to get you all worked up.
Researchers found the major broadcasters are no longer interested in talking to anyone who is not a deliberately provocative idiot.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “For example, David Starkey knows a lot about Henry VIII’s bowel movements, beyond that he’s basically a cretin.
“The BBC puts him on the radio every bloody day because they think that getting you annoyed for no reason is the same as doing journalism.”
He added: “I’d recommend the soothing sounds of Radio Three but Starkey’s probably there, between the symphonies, saying something ‘controversial’ about Pakistanis.”
Jane Thompson, from Peterborough, said: “I can’t escape it. I listen to the TV or radio and get really angry and before I know it I’m on Twitter denouncing some professional arsehole, like it actually matters.
“Jesus wept, what the fuck am I doing with my life?”