EXPERTS have confirmed that everyone at the Cannes Festival thinks they are better than you in every way.
Everyone from the directors to the people helping out on the red carpet sees themselves as your intellectual superior and they also think they could probably take you in a fight.
French director Tom Booker said: “I am better than you. I’ve directed a film that’s getting shown in France.
“It’s got Steven Seagal in it, but in an ironic way.”
Booker confirmed that he looks down his nose and everyone who isn’t involved in either making or distributing films, even if their films are shit.
He added: “Ambulance drivers, social workers. They do good things.
“But they’ll never have their work discussed by Mark Kermode on Radio 4, or awarded two stars in the Guardian, which I’ve somehow convinced myself is a triumph.
“Although in fairness if your ambulance driving skills were only rated two out of five they probably wouldn’t let you do it as a job.”