AN academic specialising in the work of Emily Brontë revealed that fictional character Heathcliff should resemble ex-prime minister Rishi Sunak in both appearance and speech.
The tortured antihero, variously portrayed by Richard Burton, Tom Hardy and in a new adaptation by Jacob Elordi, has been misinterpreted by romantics for centuries and actually provides an ideal debut role for Britain’s last prime minister.
Professor Helen Archer said: “We forget the context in which the Brontë’s were writing. Everyone then was shorter, so Heathcliff would have been towering at 5ft 6in – exactly the height of Mr Sunak.”
“Scholars have struggled to pinpoint the character’s ethnic background, but evidence such as dark eyes, dark hair and a chapter in the original manuscript where he cooks a biryani point to his being Punjabi Indian.
“The cruelty and animalistic passion of Heathcliff must be balanced with the instincts that earned him a fortune in Victorian England, so he would have the clipped, nerdy intonation of a former analyst at Goldman Sachs.
“Though not Northern, because the Northern accent as we know it was created by Ken Loach in the 1960s for the film Kes. More high-pitched and off-putting.
“So yes, all the evidence suggests Margot Robbie should have been making out with the member for Richmond and Northallerton. But Hollywood predictably ignores this because nobody could wank over that smarmy twat.”
