Indie band reunites for one last argument

AN INDIE band from the Britpop era have announced they are reuniting for a final massive argument.

Lupus Gazebo, who made 43 appearances on tapes that came free with the NME, released a statement on their website telling fans they would be in Sheffield this November for a comeback disagreement.

Lead singer Tom Booker said: “We’re not doing this for the money, we’re doing this for the fans. And also because Carl still hasn’t paid the rest of us back from when he crashed the van without insurance and I’m still massively pissed off about it.

“When I see him and the rest of those arseholes it’s going to be like we never went away. Get ready for some classic rows, including the one about eating spicy food on the tour bus and the one about Martin not sharing his coke even though he bought it with money from the band kitty.

“If it goes really well, who knows? Maybe we’ll get back in the studio and spend three weeks arguing over whether to shout ‘Uh yeah’ at the end of the second chorus.”

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Jamie Oliver's culturally insulting cuisine of the world

AWRIGHT, me old muckers? I’m Jamie and I’m here to tell you about the latest totally authentic products in my ‘Jamie’s Microwave Meals of the World’ range.

If you enjoyed my ‘jerk rice’ you’ll love these authentic cultural flavours from around the foreign world.

Samurai prawns

The ancient Japanese warrior class needed a slap-up feed after a big battle. As you tuck in imagine you’re a deadly swordsman and the sweet-and-sour dipping sauce is the blood of your enemies.

Tibetan buddhist pepperoni pizza

Buddhist monks are all I can think of to do with Tibet but because they were such laid-back dudes they probably loved to chill with pizza and a movie. Comes with garlic dip for a truly spiritual experience.

Pasta al Wall’s Viennetta

This traditional Italian dish consists of spaghetti in mint ice cream sauce with dark chocolate sprayed on top to make it look ‘classy’ if you are a bit common.

French-style gourmet beans on toast

Haute cuisine pioneers like Escoffier loved their grub, so they wouldn’t have hesitated to perk up their baked beans with some grated cheddar. Only takes 30 seconds in the microwave, so you don’t have to devote your life to the art of cooking. 

Southern fried bangers and mash

After a hard day picking cotton, slaves would come home and forget their troubles with sausages and mash piled up in a huge mound like in the Beano. It’s no wonder it’s the ultimate comfort food!