RIGHT-WING musicians are few and far between and universally twats. Coincidence, or could there be some mysterious causal connection? Let’s investigate:
Lee Greenwood
Best known for 1984’s God Bless the USA, now a favourite at Trump rallies, but most of his other hits are cloying patriotic crap like America the Beautiful too. It’s hard to tell which Lee loves more: the USA, or coasting on meagre talent by singing songs about it.
Kid Rock
Two decades ago, Kid Rock had a hit with All Summer Long, a rip-off of Sweet Home Alabama and Werewolves of London about partying with underage babes. Now? Trump’s biggest fan and a dick who machine-guns Bud Light cans in his garden. Previous to that he was a white rapper. Really, he’s a professional collector of cringe careers.
Tony Hadley
Spandau Ballet’s Tony is a confirmed Tory who in 2007 addressed the party conference with prime crowd-pleasing clichés like ‘The fabric of society is torn. We need Cameron to be more like Thatcher, to say enough is enough.’ Oddly never shared his passion for Thatch in the 80s, when it would have f**ked his career sideways.
Morrissey
Began by flirting with the far-right but is now in a long-term toxic relationship with them, judging by the amount of ‘Britain is going to the dogs’ bollocks he spouts. He should move back here from Los Angeles. He’d love meeting likeminded middle-aged men and painting St George Crosses on roundabouts with them.
Skrewdriver
Skrewdriver’s rabid neo-Nazi politics meant they never had a honeymoon phase and despite being legends of the far-right music scene unsurprisingly had zero mainstream success. Nobody wants to bring a date back to their flat and ask: ‘What should I put on, White Power or Smash the IRA?’
Ted Nugent
Gun nut Ted describes himself as ‘well-armed’, not most people’s first priority for a singer-songwriter. His unhinged views such as calling then-president Barack Obama a ‘subhuman mongrel’ are well-known. Despite this his music is oddly inoffensive MOR rock such as 1977’s Cat Scratch Fever, a song for those who find ZZ Top too experimental.
Elvis
Today, we view Elvis as a ripped-off rock-and-roll legend who was a victim of his own mindboggling fame. Which is to forget his forays into right-wing politics such as denouncing the hippy counterculture and being made an honorary Bureau of Narcotics agent by Richard Nixon. Still, understandable when off your head on speed and barbiturates.
