Nation unsure if it can accept same-sex couples on show about ballroom dancing

FANS of BBC show Strictly Come Dancing are unsure whether they could accept single-sex couples doing something as deeply heterosexual as ballroom dancing.

After judge Craig Revel Horwood predicted same-sex couples would appear on next year’s show, some ballroom dancing fans claimed it might make ballroom dancing appear somehow gay.

Stella-guzzling ballroom dancing fan Stephen Malley said, “I’m like most blokes in Britain. I like beer, birds and ballroom dancing.

Now, I don’t have a problem drinking beer with gay people, or watching gay people play football but when it comes to ballroom dancing, I’ve got to draw the line.”

Fellow Strictly fan, Mary Fisher added: “Gay people doing ballroom dancing? Whatever next? Musical theatre? Ancient Greece? Grindr?

“They should stay where they belong, in the army or doing cage fighting.”

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Frank de Boer no longer able to get six-month tenancy on a flat

NO LANDLORD in Europe is willing to give Frank de Boer a six-month lease on a flat because there is little chance he’ll be in employment that long.

Football manager de Boer, who was fired by Crystal Palace after only five games, now has to call his landlord and tell him the bad news.

De Boer said: “When he asked me how long I’d been at my previous job and address in Milan I kind of mumbled ‘three something’ and luckily he didn’t do a background check so I was okay.

“But now I’ve got to ring him and tell him that I’m out of work after ‘three something’ again and hope that he doesn’t see it as some sort of breach of contract.”

With Roy Hodgson now looking set to take the vacant seat at Palace, De Boer may take the vacant bed in the night shelter that Hodgson had been sleeping in.

De Boer added: “That really is only an extreme possibility. My landlord is a rich London guy so I’m sure he’ll be fine with me being out of work for a while.

“Plus, I saw that my local Pret-a-Manger is hiring and with my knowledge on the training field I’m sure I’ll at least get to the interview stage.”