Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Only place in London you can shag a stranger is Strictly

THE only location in London where you can have casual sex with a member of a different household is now Strictly Come Dancing

Following the capital’s move to Tier 2 of Covid restrictions meaning households cannot mix indoors, more than four million single people have no option but to live vicariously through the couples illicitly f**king each other on Strictly.

Viewer Charlotte Phelps said: “I’d also like to see Clara Amfo grinding on some snake-hipped Spaniard, Jamie Laing banging one into Oti, and Nicola Adams turning that sexy Russian.

“And if Bill Bailey wants to get caught being blown in a dressing room by Rylan for the spin-off I think that’d be nice for the nation. Everyone loves a ruined marriage.

“This year, more than ever, they’ve all got to f**k. Because I’m not going to be getting any until spring.”

Judge Craig Revel Horwood said: “This series we are marking you entirely on affairs. Get to it.”