NO matter how happy you think your marriage is, it would end the instant one of these hunks came calling on your wife. Know them and fear them:
He’s Aquaman, he’s single, he’s by all accounts a really lovely guy. And he’s been your wife’s desktop background ever since he was the Horselord or whatever in Game of Thrones, so all it takes is a smouldering glance and a flex of his abs and she’s gone.
Speaking of superheroes, didn’t your wife used to hate those films? Now she’s got the premiere of Thor: Love and Thunder on the calendar. She even liked him when he was fat in Endgame, which you took as good news for your own heavy gut but actually it was just a testament to her lust for Chris.
Long before he got abs and became friends with George Clooney – a previous nemesis – his looks to camera on The Office had her shifting suspiciously on the sofa. At any point he could turn up at your door and destroy a 15-year commitment with a single Jim smile. Sly bastard.
Endearingly nerdy and undeniably hunky, Cavill spends his time when not smouldering on screen painting Warhammer figures. So do you, but his light touch when drybrushing shows what a sensitive, caring lover he would be. Your wife had to drive you to A&E when a Tyranid got glued to your thumbnail.
He’s so down to earth! He’s so lovely! He’s definitely the kind of bloke who could take your wife on a romantic date to Nandos and still be in her good books! Worst still he’s a London boy, so he’s only a train ride or a short drive away, as your wife is at pains to point out!
Now he’s shed his 50 Shades past, Belfast’s Jamie is a fantasy your wife is willing to admit to a little too readily. And yes, you have caught her comparing a picture of herself to ‘Jamie Dornan wife’ on Google Images. She’s right, she probably could pull him.