Saturday, 4th July 2020

Streaming perfectly recreates experience of choosing sh*t film in Blockbuster

STREAMING services have digitally simulated standing in Blockbuster for 40 minutes before choosing something crap, viewers have confirmed. 

Online streaming libraries boast millions of films, many of which are award-winning fan favourites but still capture that video-shop ennui, frustration and resignation that you will inevitably make the wrong choice.

Helen Archer said: “It’s incredible how, from the comfort of your own home, you can be transported to the flickering strip-lights of a video shop in 2005.

“Aimlessly flicking through the same painful selection before remembering that you really wanted to see something and then finding out it’s not available. They’ve thought of it all.

“Browsing Netflix then Amazon then Google Play and seeing the same choices over and over again, interspersed with all those deeply suspicious movies with a great cast that you’ve somehow never heard of – it’s like I’m there.”

Archer added: “And once I’ve selected something I know will be rubbish, I make myself some horrible microwave popcorn, sit back and regret my decision just like in the old days.”