HAVE you ever been to a wedding where the dance floor wasn’t full the second ‘Come on Eileen’ came on? Here are some other ear-destroyers Brits adore.
Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond
Why has a song about John F. Kennedy’s daughter become an English football anthem? Nobody really knows, but maybe it’s because it was already such a dirge that 60,000 pissed fans singing it en masse can’t make it much worse.
Wonderwall by Oasis
Even its creators have admitted they don’t like it that much and yet ‘Wonderwall’ remains stubbornly popular among Brits after 25 long years of getting shitfaced and wailing it outside pubs. Also a favourite of irritating buskers who only know three chords.
Come On Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners
A bunch of oddballs prancing around in denim overalls singing bullshit like ‘Too-rye-ay’ seems like something no-nonsense Brits wouldn’t have time for, but your own granny would elbow you in the face to get on the dance floor before you when it comes on. An endless mystery.
Agadoo by Black Lace
The fact that Black Lace even exist should be embarrassing enough, yet British people actively enjoy their music and almost 40 years later still perform the actions to this toe-curlingly awful song without irony. Probably because they have no imagination and enjoy being told what to do.
Mr Brightside by The Killers
British people have more enthusiasm for ‘Mr Brightside’ than they do for voting in sociopathic Etonians to run the country, which is saying something. It’s a great song to tunelessly bellow while drunk, which is essentially all Brits want out of a piece of music. See also: ‘Hey Jude’, ‘Tubthumping’ and anything by the Kaiser Chiefs.