ITV has admitted This Morning cannot carry on after the revelation that one of its presenting team has had sex.
Viewers have agreed that the show’s anodyne, neutered charm has been forever tainted by learning that the man who sat on that very couch had engaged in dirty business.
Committed daytime viewer Margaret Gerving said: “What next? Has Holly done it, too?
“I had no issue with Phil coming out as gay in 2020 because I assumed that, like all decent gay men, he never actually did it. I mean look at Rylan. You’re not telling me he’s got a cock. Down there he’s nothing but smooth.
“But if Phil’s actually used his genitalia? How can I believe he’s actually interested in this season’s maxi-dresses or light summer salads when he’s known real carnal bliss? How can anyone?
“That’s why Richard and Judy were the dream presenters. You could never believe they’d ever actually made love to each other. And even they had to go when she got drunk and flashed her tits at the National TV Awards.”
This Morning, viewers of the show and Britain’s media have confirmed they are pretending that John Leslie never happened.
