BRITAIN’S banks are approaching four decades of unbroken criminality, it has been confirmed.
The banks admitted the last time any of them did anything remotely legal was 10th November, 1978.
A spokesman for Nat West said: “Thirty-six years ago a young man opened a current account in Peterborough and, according to our records, we did not steal from him immediately.
“At 9 o’clock the next morning we took £10 out of his account and when he asked why we said it was ‘because of Abba’.”
A spokesman for Barclays added: “He switched his account to us the following day and we sold him some foreign currency that he could only spend in ‘Marzipanistan’.