A SAUDI prince with 14 Rolls Royces and a boat the size of a hospital last night decided to put you out of work because he doesn't have enough money.
Prince Al-Faisal Bin Salaam and his fellow OPEC members agreed to cut production and increase the price of oil after realising their lobsters needed more jewellery.
The oil producers admitted the price rise could push vulnerable British employers into administration, but insisted you would do exactly the same if you had their kind of money.
A Saudi spokesman said: "One minute you're picking up your new Rolls Royce and thinking life is good, and the next you're pulling up at the traffic lights alongside your neighbour who is being carried about on a crystal throne by the Harlem Globetrotters. It's incredibly embarrassing."
Economist Dr Stephen Malley said: "Oil is the world's basic raw ingredient and influences the price of absolutely everything else in the marketplace. So when we're in a recession and everyone's a bit skint it is generally helpful if you can keep the price as low as possible.
"Unfortunately in this case we did not foresee a devastating shortage of lobster jewellery across the Arabian peninsula, thereby requiring a 30% increase in the price of a barrel of crude. And you wonder why we don't really get along?"
Prince Al-Faisal said last night: "Try the foie gras, it's heaven from a goose."