YOUNG people all over the country are baffled after receiving small rectangles of paper for Christmas.
Rather than getting the iPhones they asked for, many Gen-Zers were given slips of paper with writing on that left them disappointed and confused.
14-year-old Jack Browne said: “Grandpa didn’t get me a present this year, the tight old git, he just gave me a really plain, flimsy Christmas card. Couldn’t even be bothered to write a nice message, just put my name on the top and his at the bottom. I binned it immediately.”
A-level student Charlotte Phelps said: “Poor Grandad, he’s going senile. He gave me some money for Christmas, but it didn’t have a picture of the Queen or King or anything, it just said ‘fifty pounds’ in shaky handwriting. I think he made it himself, bless.”
Her brother James said: “I’ve heard about these things. It’s called a ‘cheque’ and it’s a bit like a gift voucher for real money. Apparently, the amount written on the front can be put into your bank account if you go to a special building in your nearest town. But I’m never going to do that.”
Grandfather Bill McKay said: “I knew the grasping little shits wouldn’t have a clue what to do with a cheque, so I’ve spent all my money on cognac. Cheers!”