A DOG has politely asked to be given the receipt for an underwhelming gift.
Cavapoo Stella appreciated the gesture when her owners’ in-laws brought her the present, but on discovering it was a squeaky toy decided she would rather have the cash instead.
Stella said: “I get it, I was easier to buy for when I was a puppy. But giving me a squeaky toy? It’s just not appropriate for a grown two-year-old woman.
“If they’d ever taken the time to get to know me, they’d realise I have a wide range of interests and hobbies. I’m very into barking at my own reflection, and I’m partial to chewing on a soiled tissue. I also love staring at people while I poo.
“My owners Elaine and Dave clearly wanted me to put on some sort of performance so as not to offend them. I’m sorry but I’m not going to run round the living room growling at a rubber starfish so as not to hurt their precious feelings.
“And there’s nothing rude about asking for the receipt. That way my owners can swap it for something I’d really enjoy, like a Christmas tree decoration I could eat and have to have surgically removed at a cost of thousands of pounds.
“If they can’t find the receipt it’s no biggie. I’ll just be sick in their shoes so they can have their own unwanted present.”