Left-wing Londoner pretending to be pleased about Uber ban

A GUARDIAN-reading Londoner is hailing the Uber ban as a victory for worker’s rights despite being secretly pissed off.

31-year-old Tom Booker outwardly rejoiced when the online cab firm lost its license, calling it “a major blow for the corrupt and oppressive gig economy”.

However he is secretly concerned that black cabs are incredibly expensive and is also a bit scared of going on the tube.

Booker said: “Uber is a heartless corporate entity that puts profit above workers’ rights, and threatens the livelihoods of ordinary salt-of-the-earth cabbies.

“That said, next month we’re supposed to be going for a birthday meal at a well-reviewed vegan restaurant in a far-flung London suburb with poor public transport links. I suppose we’ll have to get a cab which will cost fifty fucking quid.

“Not that I mind of course, because black cab drivers have to learn all the street names which takes years of hard graft. Although somebody should probably tell them about sat nav which does make that sort of pointless.”