MEN have confirmed plans to continue going to B&Q on Saturdays, even if it is just to claw at the locked gates.
After the DIY chain closed a sixth of its stores, men said it didn’t matter if their local branch was affected.
Father-of-two Stephen Malley said: “I’ll just go there to stare at the decaying shell of the building, and silently mill around the perimeter fence with other lost souls.
“It’s not like I ever really needed anything I bought there, it’s all still under the stairs.
“I just felt, on some primal level, the need to be alone in a large and vaguely industrial building with other males, some of whom are big and have paint on their trousers.
“To feel briefly like a man, rather than a sexless sofa-bound thing whose penis is slowly withering to nothingness.
“And, of course, to get a few sweet minutes away from the fucking kids.”