Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Nana outlives the HMV voucher she got you for Christmas

YOUR 91-year-old grandmother is surprised to have remained vital for longer than the £20 HMV voucher she bought you for Christmas, she has admitted. 

Francesca Johnson is suffering from glaucoma, angina, bronchitis and a terrible pain in her side but was surprised to find that the high street retailer had beaten her to the grave.

She continued: “I need a new hip and they need a massive cash injection and rescue plan, and apparently even under today’s NHS the hip is easier.

“This happened last year with Toys R Us. I knew they were in trouble which is why I tried to help out by buying a voucher, but they were gone before I even had my scare with my fall. You remember? When I almost had a fall?

“I can’t see much hope for HMV, I won’t lie. They say it’s going to be the coldest winter in years and I just can’t see them making it through.

“Mind you I could say much the same for myself. If I’m still around next year I’ll get a voucher from somewhere with a bit more of a future, like Halfords.”

Shares in the Halfords Group fell by more than 115p in a single day following Mrs Johnson’s announcement.