People who wear their company logo outside work ‘usually twats’

EMPLOYEES of large companies who wear their company logo in their leisure time are usually prize bellends, it has emerged.

The Institute for Studies found that wearing t-shirts and baseball caps showing you work for a faceless corporation strongly correlated with being a knob.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “It’s clearly intended to show you’re making good money, but companies like Vodafone are massive. You could be the person who cleans the bogs.

“Our research showed anyone wearing, say, a PricewaterhouseCoopers polo shirt had a high risk of wanking on about money, tedious business trips to Stuttgart and saying ‘yah’.

“However it does have certain benefits. If you’re wearing a Barclays Capital baseball cap you can easily be identified by other twats so you can talk about business instead of enjoying a lovely day in the park.

“If someone approaches you not only wearing a corporate fleece but also carrying a company umbrella, my advice is to run like fuck before they tell you about their ‘pretty sweet package’.”

Investment banker Martin Bishop said: “My corporate clothing makes me feel part of an elite tribe of high earners, although I typically work a 20-hour day and can’t remember my children’s names.

“I think one’s called Rufus. No, that’s the dog.”