Saudi king to pardon female hit and run victims

KING Abdullah of Saudi Arabia was praised by the international community last night after pledging to release more than 20% of his country’s female hit and run victims.

The King’s gesture has caught the eye of the Nobel Prize committee

In a gesture to mark the end of Ramadan, around 300 women who have been hit by cars will be freed from prison.

A Saudi government spokesman said: “His gracious majesty, in his wisdom, will grant clemency to these whores of the road.

“He bestows great mercy, even though they have indulged in shameful contact with a car who is not a male relative.”

In Saudi Arabia it is illegal for a woman to be hit by a car, a bus or a motorhome. If she dies of her injuries she could face up to 18 years in jail.

In a tradition that puzzles many westerners, Saudi men often celebrate their birthdays by lining up their wives like bowling pins and driving into them – before reporting them to the police.

Along with hit and run victims, the King is expected to pardon women who are unable to cook fish, women who have been attacked by leopards and women with brain tumours.

Foreign secretary David Milliband said: “The King’s extraordinary gesture vindicates Britain’s policy of inserting our noses directly into their oily rectums, while selling them the world’s finest, hand-built killing machines.”