MEMBERS of the country’s proud travelling milkshake trading community are not looking forward to today’s budget announcements, they have confirmed.
A fixture of British life for centuries, turning up on doorsteps with their age-old cry of ‘Shake, ma’am?’ served fresh from the foaming canisters on their backs, many feel the rising price of hotels, taxis and their staple product will kill their livelihoods.
Concerned salesman Martin Bishop said: “This could be it for us. The door-to-door milkshake vendor, of whom Shakespeare coined the phrase ‘the milk of human kindness’, wiped out.
“The UK was built on the backs of pioneering dairy-and-sugar entrepreneurs and this is how Rachel Reeves thanks us? At this rate even France will overtake us at flavoured-milk trading, which I never thought I’d live to see.”
Anxious merchant Susan Traherne said: “We’re such a fixture of British life, piping strawberry shake straight into the mouths of children, delighting communities, boosting tourism. Hard to imagine that could all vanish overnight.
“But make no mistake, we could soon be as distant a memory as the pub to-order while-you-wait sheep shearer or the open-plan office peanut salesman. Now so vanished that people don’t even remember they existed.
“So take a good, long look at us the next time we turn up at your door to show you the latest innovations in milk flavouring. It could well be the last.”
