Wikipedia celebrates first ever donation

THERE were joyful scenes in the offices of Wikipedia yesterday after the website received its first ever financial donation.

Following several years of online campaigning, the site received $10 cash – equivalent to about £8.12 – from an unnamed benefactor who staff think is most likely one of the CEO’s parents.

Wikipedia worker, Martin Bishop said: “Balloons fell from the ceiling, that song by Black Eyed Peas about having a good night came on and we all had a lovely piece of cake.

“I untucked my shirt, danced like a nutter and got off with a girl I’ve always liked. Then we all got to go home early.

“Of course, we’re not quite out of the woods yet. Paying for our offices, salaries and a server room the size of a small village will soon put a dent in that $10.

“We actually got another donation this morning but that was a $15 book token so I don’t think we can use it for bills.

“The tide has definitely turned. Whoever said compiling huge amounts of knowledge for everyone to use for free wasn’t a good business idea has got some serious egg on their face today.”


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Capitalist oppressors furious at flukey Christmas holiday dates

EVIL capitalist oppressors are furious after discovering workers will get 10 days off at Christmas while only taking three days’ leave.

Britain’s tick-like bosses are reeling after discovering this year’s luckily-positioned Christmas bank holidays have temporarily weakened their cruel grip on the masses.

Managing director and cold-hearted scum Denys Finch Hatton said: “I hate that the fuckers have wangled this. Besides affecting my money, it gives them a dangerous sense of power.

“It could make workers rise up and demand an end to exploitation, although they might just sit at home getting pissed and eating Celebrations until they’re not really enjoying them.”

Office worker Tom Logan said: “This twist of fate really shows the ruling boss pig-dogs we won’t be pushed around.

“Now I’m going to march up to my boss with a list of demands like fair pay and free childcare. Or I might just carry on as usual and moan more.”