EVERYONE in Britain is now unable to do the thing they are paid to do after a four-day weekend.
Millions of workers returned to their jobs minus the few skills they possessed before the impossibly lengthy Easter break.
Donna Sheridan, from Chester, said: “My job is to sell windows to people.
“I know how to get to my office thanks to muscle memory, and I recognise the people there, but that’s the end of it. I’ll just see if there’s a training manual on this little table, I think they call it a ‘desk’.”
Tom Logan, from Redbridge, said: “It says on these business cards that I’m a quantity surveyor. But it was twenty years ago that I went to quantity surveying school, so the repetition of a solid five-day working week was my brain’s final slender link with its academic past.
“I think I’ll just survey the quantity of crisps in this packet while I get warmed up.”