THE world is delighted to learn that its first ever trillionaire will be a demented white supremacist ideologue with a burning desire to overthrow governments.
Today’s SpaceX floatation means Elon Musk’s personal wealth will be greater than that of Taiwan and also he controls space, can take over your car whenever he wants and hates you.
Market analyst Julian Cook said: “Picture a Bond villain, but in a straight-to-streaming Statham vehicle where nobody’s bothered to make the script realistic.
“Ideally a man with the funds to topple nations wouldn’t want to do so, but that isn’t the world we live in. Instead we live in the world where that man’s up all night on shrooms and ket liking X posts by frothing bigots on sink estates. It’s not ideal.
“The rest of the tech bastards – Larry Page, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, etcetera – are merely happy to facilitate evil if it makes them money. Unfortunately Musk’s as rich as any three of them and is actively pushing for a global fascist takeover.
“Still, I’m sure between his hundreds of clone children, his evil porn-obsessed AI, his fleet of drone vehicles, his communications network of slavering acolytes and his satellites that control your internet, this will all work out fine.”
Musk said: “There’s a little social experiment I’d like to run in Britain called National Socialism 2.0. Any objections? Then you go on the list.”
