THE model Gisele is more annoying than she gets credit for, it has been claimed.
Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that the Brazilian clothes wearer is consistently very tiresome.
Professor Henry Brusker said: “When calculating annoyingness we use a unit of measurement called a Paltrow. A shy animal like a frog, which is really not annoying on any level, scores zero, whereas Paltrow herself emits a maximum 30 Paltrows.
“However Gisele is clocking in at a hefty 29 Paltrows. Why is she always pictured on sand with dogs and kids, wearing a billowy shirt with bikini bottoms? Can she not afford trousers? Does she live on a desert planet like Dune?
“If you look at the pictures closely it’s always different dogs, different kids. So contrived.
“In conclusion, fuck off.”