BBC coverage of Thatcher’s funeral pre-emptively slammed

THE BBC’s live coverage of Baroness Thatcher’s funeral next week has been slammed for its bias, incompetence and lack of respect.

Critics of the corporation have accused it of exploiting the linear nature of time to disguise yet another disaster.

Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre said: “The BBC has shown spectacular arrogance, thinking it can get away with monumental failings simply because they have yet to occur.

“Like everyone else in attendance, I’ll see the funeral conclude with the heavens opening, a host of Disney-style animated cherubs descending and Baroness Thatcher escorted to heaven to sit at God’s right hand.

“But when I come around from my grand mal seizure my PA will tell me that the BBC hadn’t shown one single second of it, preferring to focus on a masked lesbian booting in the window of a Foxton’s.”

56-year-old Telegraph reader Tom Logan agreed: “Why will Jon Snow be wearing a red bow tie? Because of the extreme socialist bias of the BB-Marxist-C, that’s why.

“Though I probably will enjoy the surreal, disjointed and cheerfully insane commentary from Trevor Nelson on the red button.

“Or will that be one of the voices in my head?”

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I went to a Thatcher death party and now I feel bad

Dear Holly,

The other night I went to a Margaret Thatcher death celebration party and it was loads of fun.  However, I can’t help feeling slightly guilty about the whole thing. What can I do to make myself feel better?

Glenda Jackson


Dear Glenda,

Apparently, if you are under thirty you can’t begin to understand about Margaret Thatcher, but actually I know loads about her and I’m only 10 and three-quarters. For example, I know that she invented the Poll Tax, the bouffant and Seasonal Affective Disorder, and went through an extended and bitter custody battle with Dustin Hoffman over their son Billy. Had she not been a politician, Maggie would have made a marvellous headmistress due to her satanic demeanour. She would always be confiscating people’s marbles and football stickers, closing down the tuck shop and generally making children cry. Who cares how many poor kids go without a Milky Way as long as she comes top in the school league tables and the staffroom toilet gets a Dyson Airblade?

However, Margaret Thatcher wasn’t all bad: even though she was awarded full custody she did eventually let her son go and live with Dustin when she realised he made better toast than she ever could.

Hope that helps!