Can I Have One That's House Trained? Asks Madonna

MADONNA yesterday told a Malawian court she was keen to adopt another small African as long as it was house trained and had received all its jabs.

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My Big Gap Year: Slum Girls Have All The Luck

At the backpackers’, I met two Hindi girls called Bindi and Sunita. They were lovely but I did point out that they didn't look particularly Hindu. Sure enough I soon discovered their real names were Fi and Tori and they were taking a gap year from their German honours course at Cambridge. Despite being a posh English girl Bindi had the Sanskrit word for 'India' tattooed onto her ankle – that's how serious she was about being all Hindu. Pretty impressive and certainly much more serious about it than David Beckham.

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