Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Do you have a chance with Kim Kardashian? Take our quiz

COULD you be Mr Right for the newly single billionaire businesswoman model? Find out with our quiz.

What is your financial situation?

A) I’m a hugely successful rapper and designer of terrible shoes, so I have a few million bucks kicking around.

B) I earn barely above minimum wage in a dead-end office job I complain about constantly. I found a tenner on the pavement last month if that helps.

How would you rate yourself in the looks department?

A) Put it this way, I think I’m so hot that I can wear any old shit and I’m convinced that I pull it off.

B) Judging by my lack of Tinder matches, I’d say I’m a 2.

Which famous and important people do you know?

A) Myself. Everyone else is insignificant.

B) Owen Jones liked one of my tweets once, does that count?

What would you get Kim for her birthday?

A) Something normal like a towering hologram of her late father which I’ve programmed to say that I’m the most genius man in the whole world.

B) Something thoughtful related to her interests. Maybe a photo of her bum?

What do you think of fame for fame’s sake?

A) There are other kinds of fame?

B) It looks toxic and unhealthy but I still read every pointless article about Love Island nonentities in the Daily Mail.

Mostly As: Sorry, Kim’s already dated someone uncannily similar to you so she’s probably looking for something new. Better luck next time.

Mostly Bs: Congratulations! Your modest lifestyle is exactly the change of pace Kim is probably looking for right now. Play your cards right and you could end up starring in a blurry sex tape.