Exquisitely groomed dog still likes to eat its own vomit sometimes

Crufts Dog Show, NEC Birmingham, Britain - 09 Mar 2014

CRUFTS winner Ricky the poodle has said he just likes to do normal disgusting dog stuff.

The immaculately coiffed two-year-old standard poodle said: “Yes I have won the biggest prize in being a dog but this won’t change me, I’m still a normal canine who likes to throw up and then eat some of it.

“Also I eat other animals’ faeces, especially cow pats which I find quite piquant.

“My other favourite pastime is scrunching up a cushion into a ball then thrusting my genitals into it in a grotesque parody of sexual intercourse.

“I may be Crufts winner but that doesn’t mean I won’t still get a bright pink erection for no apparent reason, often when my owners have guests.”