Monday, 10th May 2021

Government to nationalise fashion chain Kate likes

TROUBLED fashion chain LK Bennett is to be saved by being taken into public ownership because the Duchess of Cambridge likes it.

The government is ideologically opposed to nationalisation in all forms but said it had little choice if Kate’s chic outfits are to continue being the toast of the world’s media.

Business secretary Greg Clark said: “This doesn’t only affect Kate. It affects thousands of upper middle-class women who dress like Kate.

“We faced a national crisis of ladies who wish to look stylish but not brash being forced to comb the racks at Zara, risking arriving at a garden party wearing the same outfit as another guest. We had to act.

“This is not a change in policy, and this government still believes that industries like our energy and rail networks are better being owned by the French government than our own.

“But the thought of the Duchess of Cambridge, the shining example of English womanhood to which all women aspire, being dressed in high street rags like a charlady left us with no option.”

To celebrate the move Kate will today visit a branch of LK Bennett, make delightful small talk with employees, and take three coats without paying.